Simplifying Life

Our life has become so busy lately.  We have so much going on and I find myself with no time for anything extra.  We are getting ready to list our house, which means purge, purge, purge.  Get rid of everything, be as neutral as possible.  It tough, it's stressful, it's time consuming.  Once this is finished, it will be on to house hunting - tough, stressful, time consuming.
On top of that I have been working almost full time hours every single week since I started at my new job two months ago, not complaining - I love the work and the paycheck :)  Plus, DH will be having surgery in the next few months and that will add even more to our plates.  
So something has got to give.  
And I have decided the first thing to go will be my computer/internet usage.  I am cutting back on Facebook, unliking any page that really doesn't mean anything to me (which takes forever as you have to do it one by one).  I will not be blogging until life settles down.
I need to focus on the important things, DH and P are my number one priority.
I won't say goodbye, this isn't the end.  I'm just taking a break.
See you soon,
A

A Fresh New Look

I logged onto Blogger today and looked at my blog and... huh?  My background was gone.  Not sure what happened.  My guess?  P was hitting buttons while it was up last time and deleted it.  I had some time today while she napped with my MIL so I headed over to my favorite template site The Cutest Blog On The Block to see what if I could find a quick fix.  I fell in love with this background and header.  I love that you can customize the header with a title or photos.  Just save it to your computer, then use any photo editing program (I use fotoflexer.com) and make it your own.  I really hope that liking the look will help me get back into the swing of things.  I was sad when I saw that I only had one post in the month of May.

Banana Bread... As Promised!

Apparently my banana bread is much loved.  It's the one thing I make from scratch, with the exception of a recent attempt at Eggless Cupcakes *surprisingly good*.

And I have promised to share my recipe with several people.  And I keep forgetting.

Here it is ladies!

1/2 cup butter, melted  *sometimes substitute applesauce*
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 1/2 cup flour
1 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1/2 cup sour cream
2-3 medium bananas, mashed

1. Preheat oven to 350 and grease a 9x5 baking pan

2.  In a large bowl stir together the melted butter and the sugar.  Add the eggs and vanilla, mix well.

3. Combine the flour, baking soda and salt.  Stir into the butter mixture until smooth

4. Mix in the sour cream and the bananas and stir until mixed thoroughly.  Spread evenly into the baking pan.

5. Bake at 350 for 60 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean.  Allow to cool for 10 minutes before removing from the pan.

Night Weaning Derailed

That heartbreaking sobbing is what started to break me down.  But what really did me in was the Bug saying Maaammmmmaaaa and signing "help". 

She is cutting her canine teeth on the top.  You know, those sharp ones.  They must hurt and I gave in on the "boob juice" as she now calls in.

I'll let you know when we try again, hopefully these teeth don't take too long.  It's tough to see your baby in pain.  If the one thing that makes her feel better is breastfeeding then that is what I'm going to give her.

Night Weaning Continues

Ok so I have been super tired the past two days.  I spent most of Sunday with a headache and worked today and haven't really been on the laptop.

(On a side note, Dear Blogger: Get an app for Blackberry please)

The past two nights have gone quite well.  About the same as Night Two, Bug woke up twice, had a bottle of homo milk and went back to sleep.  She slept in yesterday until about 11am and then today I had to wake her up to get ready to leave at 9:45am. 

Next step, getting rid of the bottle at night.  Not sure if it's going to happen tonight but that is the next rung on our ladder to sleeping through the night.

Night Weaning #2

Night Two went well.  I worked until 9:30 so DH had to pick the Bug up from daycare at 9 when they close.  They are awesome, they will bring her out to the car for him and strap her in!  By the time I got out to the car at 9:40 she was asleep!  When we got home she woke up a little on the way into the house so I nursed her back to sleep and we went to bed together.

Not much of a schedule for the rest of the night::

3:15am - Bug rolled over with a long whine, I gave her a bottle of homo milk and she went back to sleep within 10 minutes
7:20am - she woke up and wanted to nurse and I figured it was close enough to 8 so I gave it to her.
10:30am - we got up and came downstairs for breakfast!

Overall a great night.  Bring on Night Three.

Night Weaning #1

Last night was the first night of weaning and it went so much better than I thought it would.  I was prepared for the worst.  Endless hours of screaming, hitting and pinching, trying to take my shirt off.  I was pleasantly surprised.  None of that happened.

10:30pm- nursed the Bug to sleep in bed
1:15am- she woke up wanting to nurse, she cryed for about 15 minutes
1:30am- DH came up with a bottle of homo milk, I was skeptical as she has NEVER taken a bottle.  Well she did and went back to sleep
1:55am- out cold and I was able to take the empty bottle from her
5:25am- she woke up wanting to nurse, gave her another bottle only half full of milk and she went back to sleep!
7:54am- she woke up wanting to nurse and got it.  I said I wouldn't give in before 8am but 6 minutes is fine with me.  She was done and asleep again in about 20 minutes
11:15am- we woke up and came down for some breakfast!

Working in retail my schedule is so varied from week to week that we decided long ago that the Bug would not have a 7 or 8pm bedtime.  And I work until 9:30 tonight so this schedule works out pretty well.  She will hopefully have a nap around 3, get dropped off at daycare at 4:45 and then be ready for bed when I pick her up.

Here's hoping night #2 goes as smoothly!

Reclaiming Sleep

From the second night after the Bug was born we have co-slept.  That first night in the hospital was awful, they wouldn't let DH stay with us and I was tired and emotional and they took her to the nursery.  I stood my ground after that and she stayed with me every night thereafter. 

I love co-sleeping and before Bug got teeth, nursing at night was fine by me.  It meant sleep.  Now that she has teeth, not so much sleep for me.  It's not that she bites me, she is really good about that.  Once she falls asleep after nursing she doesn't quite let go, and she tends to rub her teeth in her sleep.  Not so nice after awhile.  It wakes me up quite a bit, I have to switch sides A LOT and I get up in the morning sore and tender.

Last night was particularly rough.  Bug woke up around 3:30 and I mean wide awake.  I was sore, I didn't want to let her nurse.  So she whined for an hour and a half before I finally gave in.  And only because my MIL was sleeping (trying to) downstairs and hubby was getting frustrated.

Tonight will be different.  I will not give in.

DH and I have talked about it, he's in.  No matter how much crying, no "boob juice" as Bug calls it.  No more night nursing.

Our goal is to have her weaned off feeding at night before we are ready to buy a new house (crossing my fingers it will be soon!).  Then once we move we plan to convert her crib to a toddler bed and make a big deal of her new bedroom.

So I just finished nursing her to sleep in bed.  That is it now until morning.  I am praying for the strength and patience to stand my ground and not give in.  Wish me luck!

Night one, here I come.

MMM Tea...

I used to think that loose leaf tea was a huge hassle and that it wasn't worth the time.  Then a friend brought tea and her steeper to a playdate.  It was SO good!  I had it again the next time I was at her house and was sold.  The next day I went to Teaopia, bought their steeper and a few flavours to try.

I have officially converted to loose leaf tea.  My newest purchase from Teaopia is brewing as we speak and I can't wait to try it out.  I picked up the Slim & Slender tea today. I have 10lbs left to go to get to my pre-pregnancy weight and I am hoping this will help.  The ingredients are supposed to boost your immune system and help burn fat!

I also discovered Koo Tea (which you can buy at ECS Coffee if you are in Burlington or Ancaster).  Between Koo Tea and Teaopia (and countless other brands out there) I will never go back to tea bags.  The flavors are so rich and you just can't compare.  

A side note to enhancing your flavor: use fresh water in the kettle every time. I just learned this and it really does make a difference.  

"Previously boiled water has lost most of its oxygen and therefore tends to be flat tasting" -Koo Tea

Want to win a Kid's Starter Tea Set from Teaopia?
Check out That Mom Blog's giveaway by clicking here.

Or don't... because I want to win!

Just Can't Wait To Share...

Today we went to the park to take some pictures for my new blog design.  My wonderful *and amazingly talented* brother came over and took A LOT of fabulous pictures and I just couldn't wait to share::

Just a quick taste!  It's going to be hard to choose which ones will go in my header!!

Amateur Chef Here

DH was the head cook in this house before his car accident.  Now he can't do much in the kitchen so it's up to me if we want to eat something that isn't frozen... M&M's has been a very good friend over the past two years.

I went on an adventure in cooking tonight.

I've always wanted to cook with wine.  I don't know why, I guess it just seems so classy and upscale.  Delicious in restaurants, easy to screw up at home.

So I googled "white wine pasta sauce" and all that came up for me was alfredo sauces.  Well do I have the ingredients for that?  Of course not, I have wine and garlic, that's about it on those ingredient lists.

I decide to wing it.

I'm terrified.

Pizza on speed dial...

Yes, I could have asked Chef Hubby for advice but I wanted to do it alone and surprise him.

Success!!

It was actually delicious!

What I had on hand::

Jackson Triggs Sauvignon Blanc - I used a cup and half though next time I think a cup would do fine

One red pepper, chopped

Two chicken breasts - from M&M's so cooked according to the directions and then cubed

Chopped garlic (not fresh unfortunately) - I used about 2 teaspoons

Italian Herbs (in the tube from the produce section of the grocery store) - I used about 1/2 tbsp

What I did::

Chicken in the oven, 20 minutes per side.

While it was in for the first 20, I washed and chopped my pepper.

Once I flipped it I started my sauce.

Heat a large skillet with some olive oil.

Add garlic and peppers and saute until the garlic is golden.

Add the white wine and whatever spices you are going to use.

Bring to a boil, then reduce to a simmer.

Don't be like me and forget to put the water on to boil for the pasta!!

Once the chicken was done I cubed it and threw it in the sauce to simmer away until the pasta was done... 

because it was late getting started and all that...

Once your pasta is done (or if it's done at the same time as the chicken like it should be) throw that in the sauce as well.

Simmer for 5 minutes or so

Remove from heat and let it sit for 5-10 minutes for the sauce to thicken up a bit.

Voila.

Just like the pros...

Kind of...

This Day In History...

Right about this time the Bug and I landed from our trip to British Columbia.  I got my new Blackberry ( I was excited), she got her first experience with Sophie and I snapped this picture to test out the BB Camera::

Dear M

A little birdy told me that you like to read my blog.  So, thank you and this post is for you

You are a strong, beautiful woman.  You have been to hell and back in the past month and I can't even begin to imagine how hard it has been.  I'm sorry if this is too soon but I think about you all the time, when you are ready and if it is okay with you, we would like to adopt you as our surrogate sister and aunt.  If you ever need anything at all, I am here for you.

I am grateful that you have someone like V in your life, and that she has you in hers.  It is comforting that you two can be there for each other and support each other through thick and thin.  I know that she is safe with you.  You will keep her sane and happy and I thank you for that.

Take care of you

Take care of her

Love Always,
A

Lesson Learned

#1 Check the weather forecast before doing outdoor crafts.

#2 Water-based yellow paint turns an awful colour of mustardy-beige when it gets rained on.

I was painting branches for a window display I am setting up tomorrow.  I got halfway done painting them yellow for Easter, the dog barked, woke up the Bug who was sleeping in her stroller and my painting was interrupted.  We went inside, the blinds were closed, I didn't know it had started to rain.  When I went to check if my branches were dry, I found them ruined.  

Plan B:: paint them brown

I hope it turns out the way I had hoped...

::Review Part Two:: AG Inspired Cuisine

I should have done this post about a week ago.  Man, does life get in the way sometimes...

If you read my review from Sterling Inn & Spa, you will know that DH and I went away for Valentine's Day.  As a part of our package we were able to experience the Farm to Fresh philosophy of AG Inspired Cuisine.

"Inspired by the growers and producers of Niagara our menu utilizes regional and seasonal ingredients, brought together by the inventive hand of our executive chef, Cory Linkson. Beautifully designed, unique, and delicious dishes are crafted to satisfy the palate, while remaining true to the very essence of the ingredients. It truly is inspired cuisine."

~http://www.agcuisine.com/

This statement is absolute truth.  The dishes are beautifully designed, unique and delicious!

Our meal began with an amuse bouche.  

A warm winter shooter of sweet potato topped with rum syrup

The words of Chef Hubby:: "A lot of love went into that!"

Appetizers::

I had the Winter Oxtail and Riopelle Risotto

This was my first time having risotto and I absolutely loved it.  The flavors of this dish were combined perfectly.

Hubby had the Steak and Mushroom Pie

Besides how beautiful this dish was, the steak was cooked perfectly, the pastry was moist and flaky and the sauce was delicious.

Main Course::

I had Hand Rolled Fettuccine and Beef Tenderloin Pasta

The beef was melt in your mouth perfect.  The pasta was phenomenal, I could definitely tell it was handmade.

Hubby had Fennel Pollen Dusted Lake Trout

   The trout was tender and juicy, the shrimp, crab, clam and sweet potato chowder was the perfect compliment to the fish.  Having never tried clams before, I wasn't too sure.  They were okay, though they don't top my list of things to order in the future :)

Dessert:: 

The best course!

The second I saw Classic Handmade Tiramisu on the menu I was sold.  It has been too long since I have had real Tiramisu with mascarpone, kahlua, lady fingers, amaretti and espresso pastry cream.

It was fantastic!  Do you see that little bug on my cake?

  Crazy coincidence, I call P my "Little Bug" and her room is decorated in ladybugs.

Hubby had the Chocolate Twosome

 White chocolate crème brûlée and amber caramel dark chocolate mousse

Both desserts were delicious!  If I could start my meal with dessert I would do it every time.  Maybe when P is older we will have one day a week that we do dessert first :)

Our waiter was fantastic, he made us feel comfortable from the moment we walked in the door.  He answered all of our "stupid" questions (well MY "stupid" questions).  The food was delicious and well worth the price (not that much more than what we spend at the Keg, and much tastier!!).  

For a special night out, we would definitely return to AG Inspired Cuisine and I would recommend anyone going to Niagara Falls check out this hidden treasure!

Review:: Sterling Inn & Spa

We went away for Valentine's Day.  Our first night away without the Bug.  It was so tough to leave her, more for me than DH, but breastfeeding and co-sleeping are two of my favorites things.  The best ways to spend time with my baby.

We went back to the hotel where we went for our honeymoon two and a half years ago.  Sterling Inn & Spa in Niagara Falls.  It was comforting to know we were just a short drive away if we needed to get home quickly or if I just missed her too much and wanted to come home... Didn't happen though :)

Sterling is a beautiful hotel.  They refer to themselves as a "Boutique Hotel" and they definitely live up to it.  From the moment you walk into the lobby,with the grand staircase, the fireplace and the modern decor, you feel the richness and luxury.  Everything seems so upscale and posh, I was worried about feeling out of place as an average mom but the staff are amazing.  Everyone is warm and welcoming, they all go above and beyond to make your stay special.

Like I said before, we stayed at Sterling for our honeymoon.  When I called to book our room the gentleman asked how we had heard about the hotel, I told him we had stayed there previously.  I don't know if he looked up what room we had stayed in or if it was pure coincidence, but we got the exact same room.  Walking in the door felt like coming home.

And then there is that bathroom, that everyone dreams about... A shower that you could fit about ten people in and a bathtub that is definitely made for two::

They also have a mini-kitchen, complete with sink, coffee machine, and mini fridge::

Another great service that Sterling provides is complimentary breakfast in bed.  The put a door hanger in your room, you choose what time you would like it delivered and the options you would like (coffee, tea or both; apple juice, orange juice or both; etc) and then hang it outside your door by 8pm::

And this is what arrived the following morning at 9:45 (the latest time we could choose)::

 Overall, our stay was fantastic and I would recommend this hotel to anyone looking for a quick, romantic getaway or even an extended stay.  The price is phenomenal for what you get, and the stay is much more appealing than some of the other chain hotels.

Check back tomorrow for my review of the restaurant inside the hotel AG Inspired Cuisine

What's your favorite recipe?

With the Bug joining us at the theoretical table (we got rid of our dining room table as there is just no space for it) we realized we need to start cooking more and not eating "ready to eat" meals.  Since DH's car accident we have mostly been living off of M&M's and other frozen meals.  Before meeting Chef Husband, I knew nothing about cooking.  I could boil up some pasta, throw some Ragu on it and call it a meal.  I ate out, I ate KD, I survived.  Now I am slowly finding cooking enjoyable as I learn new skills in the kitchen.

This has inspired a new blog series of trying new recipes.  We hope to try something new at least once a week. 

On today's menu::  Slow Cooker BBQ Chuck Roast!  Kind of like pulled pork but with beef.  Recipe to come if it's good ;)

I'm also going to do some tried and true favorites today::  Banana bread and muffins, carrot muffins with cream cheese frosting, and a quadruple batch of Winter Vegetable Soup.

Yes, quadruple!!
There are some people (a few friends and a family I don't know yet) who are going through extremely difficult times and shouldn't have to worry about cooking and meals.  Hopefully they will enjoy the soup as much as we do!

What is your favorite thing to cook/bake?  Want to share your recipe and be featured on my blog?  Send me an email with your recipe:: chroniclesofpblog@gmail.com!

Shouting From The Rooftops

I just got the best phone call of my life.

My Oma is cancer FREE!!  No more chemo, no more surgery!

I am so happy, I just need to shout it from the rooftops!

Family Day Visitor

I don't get to see my sister very often.  She lives in Kitchener, she is in school full time and she works part time.  I live in Hamilton, have a one year old, an injured husband and I also work part time.  Our schedules don't match up often to include an hour drive each way. 

Auntie Vika came to visit today!!  My little Bug just LOVES her auntie!  I am almost forgotten except when she wants food.  It's fine though, I love watching them interact and play.  They have been playing the same stacking game for about 20 minutes and I love the laughter I can hear from over my shoulder as I write this post

an angel, gone before her time

{Bianca Nowakowska ~ An angel taken much too soon}

 

 

{Bianca and her aunt Magda}

 Please keep this family in your prayers

 RIP Bianca and Joanna

A Place Where Children Are 

What kind of place would heaven be 

With all its streets of gold,

If all the souls, that dwell up there

Like yours and mine, were old?

How strange would heaven's music sound 

When harps begin to ring,

If children were not gathered 'round 

To help the angels sing. 

The children that God sends to us 

Are only just a loan, 

He knows we need their sunshine 

To make the house a home. 

We need the inspiration 

Of a baby's blessed smile. 

He doesn't say they've come to stay,

Just lends them for a while. 

Sometimes it takes them years to do

The work for which they come. 

Sometimes in just a year or two 

Our Father calls them home. 

I like to think some souls up there 

Bear not one sinful scar.

I love to think of heaven as 

A place where children are.

Depression is a Four Letter Word

Yesterday (technically as it is after midnight) was Bell's "Let's Talk Day".  It is inspiring that a huge company has taken the initiative to raise awareness about mental illness in Canada and all over the world.  I have been hearing the commercials on the radio and I think to myself, that is me.  Because of the stigma I have avoided talking about it, I have avoided getting help.  It ends now.

As I sit here writing this I wonder if I will have the courage to hit publish.  Will I post this entry to the blog's  facebook page?  Do I really want everyone to read this?  Can I really make myself that open and vulnerable?  If it will help someone else, yes.  I can do it.  I hope...

This isn't easy.  I've written a line and deleted about five times now... I guess I'm stalling.  I don't know where to start.

Depression is a four letter word.  It has become a swear word in our society.  No one says it, no one talks about it.  And especially not postpartum depression.  Every mother wants to be perfect.  We all want to be the one that other moms look at and say "she's got it all together".  I've learned in the past year that the moms that seem the most put together are usually the ones that aren't.  We become pros at putting on a show, I am guilty of that 100%.

My little bug was an angel baby.  We had our moments of exhausted frustration, but looking back she was quite easy.  She only cried when she needed something, she didn't have gas or colic.  She was never sick in her first year, not counting one eye infection when she was 1 week old due to a blocked tear duct.  The first few months weren't too bad.

I look back and wonder when I started feeling this way?  I recently read somewhere that major life changes while pregnant and within the first year can increase your chances for postpartum depression.  Did one of the events in my life trigger this?  Or did it all just snowball and come on gradually as each stress built up on my shoulders?  When was the breaking point?  Or was there one?

• DH was in a car accident when I was 4.5 months pregnant.  Long story short - his injury was missed, surgery didn't work, other complications arose and he is still dealing with ankle and shoulder problems.  Almost 2 years later, there is no end in sight.
• My Oma, whom I am extremely close to, had some health scares.  She underwent surgery to remove half her liver when I was 7 months pregnant followed by several rounds of chemo and getting diagnosed with lung cancer.  I moved in with her and Opa to help them out, leaving behind my life in Kitchener.  Family comes first.
• We bought a condo when Oma was doing better.  Moving in the middle of winter with a 5 week old is not easy.
• When Bug was 8 weeks old my Nana lost her battle with cancer.  The same progression as Oma:: colon, liver, lungs.  I had only seen her once in the previous 11 years and she didn't get to meet my baby.  That brought up a lot of issues that I thought had been resolved and also a lot of fear for Oma's future.  We traveled to BC for her memorial and it was very hard on me.  The guilt of not having more time with her was overwhelming and it still is at times.

I can't change the course of events, if we could change the past the world would be a much different place.   I just wonder where it all went wrong?

I feel like I'm failing.  Like I am not suited for motherhood.  I feel like the Bug deserves someone better.  Someone who wants to play with her and learn with her.  Someone who is present.  I find that it goes up and down, I have moments where I love playing with her, laughing with her and just watching her be.  And I have moments where I don't want to be in the same room, I have no patience and everything upsets me.  DH and I have a lot more arguments than we ever have.  I cry over things that normally wouldn't upset me, and sometimes I don't even know why I'm crying.

The worst is the guilt.

We weren't planning on having a baby so soon, we got pregnant 6 months after getting married.  I was halfway through college and on the pill.  When I thought I had the flu and it lasted longer than it should have I went to the doctor and found out we were expecting.  At the time I embraced it wholeheartedly, on good days I still do.  In my worst moments, I wish it hadn't happened.

I feel lost, I just want to find my way to happiness.  To being a better mother for this sweet little girl.

I have a very hard time asking for help.  I want to be good at everything.  I can't do it anymore though, I am going to see a professional and hopefully I can work through all of this and find myself again.

My advice if you are struggling:: Ask for help!  Find a mom's group in your area!  I was feeling very alone, but I have found an amazing mom's group full of women who are extremely supportive and give great advice.  Talk to someone.  Email me, chroniclesofpblog@gmail.com

Resources for Postpartum Depression::

• Postpartum Support International
• Here To Help :: A website from BC but still lots of good info

Last Day of NaBloPoMo

Today is the last day.  I joined half way through the month, inspired by Karen from That Mom Blog (who has an awesome giveaway right now).  It wasn't easy but I found something to post each day, it helped that it was a busy month for us and we had a lot going on.  And on the days that were just too busy, a picture says a thousand words.
I am really going to try to keep up with the blogging.  I am setting myself a goal of five posts a month for the year.  If I make more than that, awesome.  Putting it in writing will hold me accountable.  5 a month... I can do it!

Help me get a Facebook Username...

If I can get to 25 "likes" on Facebook, I can get my own username making it easier for people to find my blog!

click here -->  Chronicles of P on Facebook

SNOW!

We had a wonderful blanket of snow when we woke up this morning!  Being a November baby, last year the Bug was much to young to go out in the snow and up until now I wasn't sure that we were going to get a winter this year.  Well, winter has arrived and we went out to play this morning::

And then back inside for some warm milk with some crazy hat head::

"When I Grow Up...

...I wanna be just like my daddy"

Super Soup Saturday

I made our favorite soup today::  Winter Vegetable!

First things first, I was so excited to use my new stock pot::

The prep work is the hardest part, peeling and chopping sweet potato, carrot, onion (and the tears that come with them) and apples::

Sooo worth the effort once it all starts cooking and the house starts to smell fabulous::

An hour later, pureed and back on the heat for 10 minutes::

And the final product::

Dinner for today for us and the Bug, two ziploc containers to freeze, one to give to a friend going through a rough time (enjoy S & T!) and one to surprise someone with :)

For the recipe check out my Winter Veggie Soup Recipe

National Literacy Day

In honor of National Literacy Day I want to share our favorite book::

It's supposed to be for kindergarten-grade 1 however my 14 month old loves it.  The pages are textured and that distracts her from eating the book.  She loves to run her fingers over the ridges and she really pays attention to the story.

Check out tea for three for Tamara's favorite books + a giveaway!!

Dear Nana

I miss you.  I can't believe it has been a year since you lost your battle with the evil 'C'.  I wish I had more of the amazing memories that everyone else seems to have of you.  I hear my brothers and cousins talk about you and I am jealous that we didn't have a close relationship.
I have a few great memories and there is one especially that I cherish.  I was about 2 or 3 years old, so it's strange that it is such a vivid memory.  We were at the Tim Horton's in the middle of Ancaster (which is no longer there, by the way) way back when they had those awesome spinny stools.  I was sitting there joyfully spinning back and forth and you were there smiling at me.
I'm sorry we didn't visit more when you lived in Ontario and I am sorry I didn't visit more when you moved out west.  I'm sorry that you and Poppa weren't at my wedding, that's a big one for me.  And another big one, possibly the biggest, I'm sorry you didn't get to meet my little Bug.  She would have loved you and you would have loved her.
I am grateful that I got to make the trip to the Island for your memorial and that I got to spend a week connecting with Poppa.  He really enjoyed the Bug and watched her almost every morning while I showered and got ready! 
I hope to see you again someday and maybe then we can have the relationship that we missed out on this Earth.
Love always,
A

Prayers For A Friend

A good friend of mine's 10 month old daughter had to have emergency surgery today.  To all those who pray, please pray for this amazing little girl.  And if you don't pray, please send healing thoughts!

J, J & A - You have been in my thoughts and prayers all day and will be all night!  All my ladies at work are praying for you and I hope all of my readers here will too <3

Loving Daycare

It's hard to believe that I have been back to work for 8 weeks as of yesterday.  For the first month Bug was staying with a friend while I worked and then the week after Christmas she started into daycare and so far it has been a great decision for us.
We chose the Little Learning House for several reasons.  They have a new center that caters to infants and younger toddlers.  It goes from 6-18 months and then as they feel the kids are ready they transition to the toddler center.  The center is run by ECE's who are all amazing with my Bug and so patient!  Now when we get there Bug goes right to them and waves goodbye to me.  No more tears!
And the biggest factor in our decision is their flexible care program.  If we need them, they are available 7 days a week, from 6am-9pm.  I work in retail and I needed that option.  My job is based on what there is to do each day, if I finish early I go home early and the daycare is fine with that.  I pay for the time we use and that is it.

Somehow, the girls get Bug to sleep in a crib at every nap.  Something I have not been able to do in the 14 months since she was born::

Make Your Heart Melt Monday

After a long day I don't feel like writing much.  We got one of the Ikea pieces built but I don't want to show anything until the whole space is complete... so that post will come some time this week.

For today, here is a quick little melt your heart moment. 

My little Bug loves her daddy!  She loves playing with him, climbing on him, snuggling with him, etc.  He came down after his shower today and put lotion on his hands, rubbed them together and then started putting it on his face... Bug stood watching him and then she rubbed her hands together and started rubbing her face.  I love seeing her want to be Just Like Dad!!

Too Tired To Build

Today I was supposed to build all our fun Ikea stuff.  After driving to Woodstock and back I am way too tired to do that today... We finally packed up the Bug's swing and so we "built" one thing to go in that space for her to play in.

Before:: 

 

After::

I also fixed up our entryway and made it more functional::

*Not So* Extreme Couponing

It's amazing the sense of satisfaction you get after a great coupon haul.  I'm nothing like the people on TV... maybe when we get that bigger house I'll start a stockpile.  Though with the way my dreams are going I'm going to need a 6 bedroom house and a big basement.  A master, a room for the Bug, a room for the Butterfly (my step-daughter), a room for my closet, a craft room/office, a stockpile room, and a nice big playroom in the basement....  Hope DH doesn't read this, he might have a heart attack :)

Anyways, back to the couponing.  WalMart has a fabulous sale on right now, so we went out to the one on Appleby in Burlington (after our fantastic trip to Ikea... tune in tomorrow for the outcome of that trip).  See below for my savings and for my couponing resources.  Happy Couponing!

Here is the haul::

And here is a better shot of the HBA::

Not everything in the picture had a coupon, but everything was on sale!!

TOTAL BILL PRE-TAXES:: $132.87

TOTAL COUPON SAVINGS:: $86.33

My coupon savings::
Diapers - FREE!  Regular price: $39.83, on sale for $29.83,coupons from Kimberly-Clark for free packs
Wipes - Regular $19.97, coupon for $9 off from Kimberly-Clark
Kleenex - Regular $9.97, on sale for $6.97, coupon for $2 off
Mouthwash - Regular $3.96, coupon for $1 off
Floss - Regular $3.67, coupon for FREE with purchase of mouthwash
Toothpaste - Regular $2.96, on sale for $1.96, coupon for $1 off
Deodorant - Regular $3.97, on sale for $2.97, coupon for Buy 2, get $2 off
Advil - Regular $9.47, on sale for $6.47, coupon for $3 off
Infant Tylenol - Regular $6.96, on sale for $5.96, coupon for $3 off
Benylin - Regular $14.96, on sale for $8.96, coupon for $3 off (that was a great one!!!)
MumMums- Regular $3.17, on sale (though mis-marked, these were not actually on sale) $2, coupon for $0.50 off

My coupon resources::
Save.ca
P&G - usually the best HBA coupons
WebSaver
SC Johnson

A great **CANADIAN** resource on how to get started, how to maximize your coupons, where to find coupons, etc::
Canadian Coupon Queen

Who doesn't love Free!

Today I got four free mannequins!  Everyone's response is "What do you want mannequins for?"

Well, my dream career is to be a freelance visual merchandiser.  I would love to have contracts with a few stores to design their windows weekly, monthly, whatever and to do in-store merchandising as well.  I get to do visual within my current position but not on a regular basis and there is a lot of limitations being part of a corporation.

So what do I want mannequins for?  Props, of course.

Although I plan to keep one for myself... and my dream closet.  One day....

An entire room

Beautiful shelving (love the Pax wardrobe at Ikea)

3 of the walls royal purple

One with black and white damask wallpaper

And my mannequin, painted silver, like a piece of art

It's okay if you think I'm crazy, most people do

She Won't Sleep For Me

My little Bug only slept for a half an hour today.  She is exhausted, I know she is.  I can see it in her eyes and the way she is walking like she is half drunk.

Most of the time I nurse her to sleep.  During the day she sleeps on the couch beside me or on the floor if I'm busy, at night she sleeps with us.  At daycare she sleeps in a crib and they rub her back for 10 minutes and she's out.  (I wish that worked for me!)

Today:: Nothing.  

She won't focus to nurse.  She will only lay in her crib for a few minutes before standing up and screaming until she is sick.

I've given up and she is playing happily with Daddy. 
I hope she sleeps well tonight!

Wordless Wednesday

Sooo I was in the midst of doing yesterday's post when my little Bug faceplanted into the floor and required mama's soothing touch... And then I forgot to come back.  I'm not counting this as today's post, that will come later on when Bug goes down for a nap :)

Vroom Vroom

Yesterday I alluded to the subject of today's post.  I was sitting in an office and VERY excited about what was happening...

No, my little bug is not going to be a big sister...

We bought a car!

Chop Chop

If we are Facebook friends you may have seen my status today:: "chop chop"

I hate haircuts!  And even more so I don't dye my hair.  But I needed a change and I bought a wagjag a year ago that was set to expire March 4.  Grandma and Grandpa were coming down for another reason ::come back tomorrow to find out why:: so I scheduled my hair appointment for this afternoon.

I was soooo indecisive, I google'd hairstyles and just printed a bunch that I liked which ended up being all over the map.  I took my pictures to Le Salon & Spa and met my hairdresser.  Her name was Robin and she was awesome, she made great recommendations on what would work for my face shape and hair texture... and what would be quick and easy to style.

I've never had highlights before so I was quite nervous about what the final product would be.  I picture blonde when I think highlights.  I am very impressed with the subtle change, and it wasn't too light at all!

First (and most important)::

Before::

No turning back now::

Final Product:: (forgive the lighting)

This final picture will lead into tomorrow's post.  I don't want to give away too much, but as you can see I am pretty excited about what is happening!!